Motivation to better your physique or your mind can come from within…or the outside. Something or somebody is pushing us to improve the way we look or feel – and pinpointing that driving factor can help us focus so we can reach our goals even FASTER! So… why do we train? Let’s get into this…
“Why do we train?”
It’s a question that I’m sure has been asked MILLIONS of times…
And probably answered with MILLIONS of different responses.
“I train to get bigger.”
“I train to be healthy.”
“Ummm… I just like the way it feels.”
Yeah…
But that’s not what I mean when I ask that question.
You’ve got to go DEEPER.
Though, for some reason – most people just stay on the surface.
Maybe because their reason for training is too personal…
That if they truly revealed the reason they trained for hours at a time – they’d be giving somebody some insight into their “brokenness”.
Well, I’ve got news for you…
We’re all “broken”.
There’s no perfectly whole person…
Sure, there are levels of brokenness or wholeness – but nobody is 100% one way or the other – and revealing the reasoning behind your training addiction can be freeing in a way.
Even more, it could help somebody understand their OWN reason for putting their body through hell…
And isn’t that why we’re all here?
To learn…
And to help if we can?
So, I’ll start the ball rolling…
And maybe – it will give somebody else the courage to share their reasoning on social media – and pay it forward.
Why Do We Train?
So… why do I train?
Well, thinking back – I think my obsession with training started because I was always a pretty plump kid…
And was told so by enough people that it became ingrained into who I was.
But that wasn’t my ONLY issue…
Because the reason I was so plump has a much darker story.
My ex-step-father came into my life when I was 5-years-old – and that’s when the trajectory of my life truly changed.
I was always a happy, talkative kid WITHOUT a weight problem before he married my mother…
He was nice to me – bought me toys – took me and my mother to the movies – all while hiding his TRUE self.
After he married my mother – that’s when he truly revealed who he was…
A bully to those who were powerless.
The mental abuse happened almost immediately…
Making fun of me… making fun of the fact that I didn’t have my father in my life…
And that was quickly followed by the physical abuse.
I accidentally burp at the table – I got beat…
If my room wasn’t immaculate – I got beat…
If I didn’t wash my hands correctly – I got beat.
It didn’t take long before the happy, talkative kid became a quiet and melancholy loner in the house – and that’s when I started packing on the pounds.
I began eating to make myself feel better…
Or maybe because it felt like I had control of something or maybe just to add some padding so the beatings didn’t hurt as bad – I don’t know…
But he would yell – he’d beat me – and then I’d go eat something.
That was the way things went for the next 10 years.
It All Comes To A Head
Now, most people ask me about why my mother didn’t stop it…
And her and I have had MANY conversations about it – and she says she never saw it.
She thought he was just joking…
But she was never there for when he would beat the crap out of me for touching his tools without permission or drinking the last of the iced tea.
That’s how it went for the next 10 years – until I got too big for him to bully.
I had started weight lifting when I got to high school – and was blessed with the kind of genetics that made it easy for me to get bigger and stronger.
After I became too big and too strong for him to bully…
The physical abuse stopped – but the mental abuse continued – however, I knew that he couldn’t do anything physically to me any more so our relationship just became contentious.
One day when I was 16 – we were yelling at each other across the house and my mother screamed, “That’s ENOUGH! If you’re going to be at each other’s throats – go outside and fight!”
So, that’s what we did…
We put on the boxing gloves that we had – and I bet the ever-loving shit out of him.
He had to stop – and screamed at me from across the yard, “I’m going to break your kneecaps with a baseball bat in the middle of the night!”
And he would have too…
So, I went to my grandparents till that all blew over.
After that…
He’d take little digs and make little comments – but after that day – he was powerless.
So…
Why do I train?
Because I don’t want to feel as powerless as I did when I was a child.
Expectations Vs. Reality
I bet that’s not what you were expecting…
And to be honest – when I sat down to write this blog – I had a completely different subject in mind.
But something I read last night has stuck with me…
And it inspired me to write this.
What was it?
I was scrolling through social media and came across a post on one of the inspirational pages I follow…
It was a picture of a Greek sculpture of a warrior and it said, “The person you are today is the person that you wanted to protect you when you were a child.”
That hit me pretty hard…
Because here I am: a 290 pound black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu – with a calm and kind demeanor – with a low tolerance for bullies.
I built myself into the protector I needed…
And that was not something I expected – but I can see now that’s what my reality is.
Everything I’ve done over the past 35 years has been to build the perfect foil to my former step-father (my mother got smart about 20 years ago and dumped him).
Each time I step foot in the gym – I get a little angry…
And never truly knew why.
Now I know that it’s probably because I know I started this journey out of necessity – not out of a want to.
That being said…
I also know I’ll NEVER stop.
Never Again
Feeling powerless is – pardon the pun – a powerful motivator.
Sure, I have combat skills that 99.999% of the world’s population will never have…
But having the size and strength to go with it helps me feel more comfortable.
Whenever I’ve taken time away from the gym…
I feel it.
And I don’t mean just getting weaker and softer…
I can feel that uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness that makes me feel like a target – which is something I’ll NEVER be again.
So…
That’s my story.
Are you ready to face yours?
Have you ever asked yourself WHY you train?
Do you know why you put your body through grueling workouts over and over again?
Can you unveil your hidden motivation?
Because understanding this may help you breakthrough any sticking points you may come to…
And ultimately lead to a better you.
Or…
Maybe you just needed a self-therapy session like this with an audience of people you don’t know? 🤣😂🤣
Either way – it’s worth it.
Until next time…
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker
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